Relax... don't do it

At some point a witty saying will materialize here. Right here. Watch for it.


December 2020
« Feb    

February 4, 2008

Cat Bullet

Taffy’s evil Plan

Filed under: Cat Stories,It's a Cat's Life — Cat @ 10:17 am

Taffy, mistress of evil

Taffy is a good cat. She is cute and cuddly and has the sweetest little “motorboat” purr that you have ever heard (if you are lucky enough to hear it).

I discovered Saturday night, however, that she is capable of cold-blooded evil and extreme long-term planning. Evil enough to put the evilest of evil people to shame. Voldemort has nothing on this cat.

Page back in your minds, all the way back to August of last year. Mama Cat was happily working away at the first couple of clues on the Mystery Stole. Having finished clue one, it was placed on the floor next to the knitting chair.

Come on… admit it… you have all used that filing system a time or two in your life…

At the time, I thought it was really cute when Taffy started playing with the corner of the pattern, and I actually chuckled quite a bit when she reduced it to tatters. I tossed it into the recycling bin and didn’t think much about it, because, after all, I had it stored on my computer and could always print out another copy if I needed one.

Oh the horrors that lurk in this adorable kitten’s soul.

Flash forward to Saturday night. I had spent most of the day working on one, really hard, Environmental Chemistry homework problem. I finally got to the end (successfully, I hope) and looked at the clock. 8:15 pm. Kind of late to be starting a knitting project, but I figured that I would haul out the supplies for the Mystery Stole. Found the stole, the micro crochet hook, the beads and the relavent clue of the pattern. Got everything arranged, and then pulled my treasured piece of leftover cherry pie out of the fridge.

Sat down, took one bite of the pie, and then found out that the Clue chart didn’t have the symbols for stitches. Since the Clue one printout was long gone, I decided to run downstairs and look up the symbol key on my computer.

While I was booting up the computer, I heard a “clinking” sound that I didn’t immediately recognize. I ignored it (OH WOE IS ME) until I heard it again. I went upstairs to investigate to discover (to my HORROR) that Taffy had licked my fork (the clinking sound was the fork being licked and bounced on the table). As I approached, she inched her nose forward, reaching for my PIE!!!

Thankfully it was saved, just in time (I got a clean fork, though), but imagine the tragedy if I had been even 30 seconds later. I would have lost my whole piece of pie and had to wait another year until Dad’s birthday for another taste of that sweet/sour heaven.

Taffy is an evil evil beast. She set up the whole chain of events back in August, knowing that I would have Pie in February.

So be warned, all of you, if you have cute cuddlesome creatures living in your home. They are plotting… PLOTTING to maximize Terror and Mayhem and are capable of long term planning to put most people to shame.

(Maybe I should have her take a look at my retirement fund…)

pitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patter


  1. I think Taffy has some long lost siblings out there and they are living under my roof. My precious blonde tabby, Bailey, for one. Last year her yarn chewing addiction ruined a mate to a sock I knitted. I only discovered what she had done when I pulled it out of the washer, the frayed yarn was a dead give away. Last night I discovered a piece of orange yarn that had been chewed away from a log cabing baby blanket I was knitting. Oh, they look so sweet, but inside that endearing cuddly body, lies a sinister side…………Cheryl

    Comment by cheryl — February 4, 2008 @ 10:33 am
  2. But she is so CUTE! How can so much evil lurk in the hearts of kitties?

    Comment by Mom — February 4, 2008 @ 10:59 am
  3. PIE, Mom. She was after my PIE!!! How could that be anything but pure EVIL!!!!

    Comment by Cat — February 4, 2008 @ 11:18 am
  4. LOL….That was SO not where I thought this story was going. I expected to hear that she’d either destroyed the stole or the pattern was no longer to be found on the computer!

    Comment by Ginger — February 4, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
  5. My mind set was like Ginger’s. I was actually relieved to hear that it was about pie, and that she didn’t destroy a hundred hours of knitting!

    Comment by Anita Craig — February 4, 2008 @ 1:06 pm
  6. Pft. Losing a knitting pattern? Whatever. Cherry Pie? Priceless.


    Comment by Dave — February 4, 2008 @ 9:29 pm

Comments RSS

Leave a comment

[o..o] Powered by: WordPress [o..o]