Kitten Taffy

At some point a witty saying will materialize here. Right here. Watch for it.


December 2020
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July 20, 2007

Cat Bullet

Murder most Phil(odendron)

Filed under: Cat Stories — Cat @ 6:00 am

Dateline: Last week. Somewhere upstairs.
The Scene of the Crime:

The Scene of the Crime

Further examination led to the discovery of two potential suspects:

Suspects A and B

Suspect A is a black neutered male, 2.0 years old, who has a demonstrated fascination with water and plants.

Suspect A

Suspect B is a tabby neutered female, 1.9999 years old, who was previously admonished for being up and around the former plant’s location.

Suspect B

The victim was an approximately 6 year old Philodendron plant, formerly housed in a blue clay pot.

Currently the victim is in critical condition, soaking in a bucket of water with a Miracle Grow drip. FEMA was consulted about the possibility of obtaining emergency housing; they forwarded the request to the FEPHA (Federal Emergency Plant Housing Authority), who was able to provide a spare pot from the “Decorative pot not to be used for plants on a regular basis because it doesn’t have a drain hole in the bottom” department.

It is hoped that the victim will make a full and complete recovery.

In the meantime, further clues (rear end prints left in the dust of the dresser that had formerly held the plant) led to authorities accusing Suspect B. The Suspect had no comment to make at this time and remains at liberty based on her own recognizance. Through her spokesperson, while denying any responsiblity, she stated that the victim was definately root bound and was in need of a bigger home anyway.

pitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patterpitter patter


  1. Heavens. I had a similar event at my home involving a rubber tree and I understand that the suspects were two wire haired beasts.

    Comment by Christie — July 20, 2007 @ 7:54 am
  2. “But I’m so cute! How could you possibly think I would do such a thing? Purcy did it!”

    Comment by Taffy — July 20, 2007 @ 8:51 am
  3. Well, Taffy, Next time don’t leave your butt prints at the scene of the crime.

    In case you haven’t checked, Purrcy isn’t anywhere as near as fluffy in the hind quarters as you are…

    Comment by Cat — July 20, 2007 @ 9:01 am
  4. Poor, poor Philodendron :( Sitting there so innocently, and then…crash! Now in critical condition :(

    Comment by Terrie — July 20, 2007 @ 9:57 am
  5. You need to call in CSI: Denver

    That would be Catastrophe Scene Investigation, of course…

    Comment by Dave — July 20, 2007 @ 11:25 am
  6. “MMMMNNOOOOOW! I was there looking to see what happened. I am sure the evil one has to be black with yellow eyes, I am innocent”.

    Comment by Taffy — July 20, 2007 @ 11:30 am
  7. Oh, this is too, too funny. I wish I had your wit and charm!

    Comment by Anita Craig — July 20, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
  8. Stinkers…

    Comment by Mary-Kay — July 21, 2007 @ 6:33 pm

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